It’s summer and the air is dry, green plants cannot breathe, the morning does not bring any water, the air gets deep into the soil leaving it empty,
All the flowers in the garden are taller than me, I get lost.
Mom lets me water them so that they survive the draught. Watering the garden is dad’s thing to do so I feel adult like I have never felt before. The lawn is like the whole world. The boy is running fast but I cannot see him, my eyes grow green, the boy shouts loud but I cannot hear him. My brother falls off the tree and loses his consciousness, his eyes are closed, the garden gets greener.
The crane birds are singing, the song is about dying, who listen to the song, loses their ears.
There is no more space in the head, the sounds are all that left.
My grandma makes an apple soup, the soup is boiling fast, the fruits are falling off the tree, the tree is tall and the soup is sweet.
The winter comes and there are no more apples, the winter comes and the crane birds are long gone. Where is the song? And where is the grandma? She has gone with the cranes and by the sweet taste you will find her again.
My father is teaching me how to swim.
He is supporting me with his hands.
I’m doing very well.
Suddenly he is leaving me.
I was supposed to swim by myself.
But instead of that I’m drowning slowly.
I see green water reflected with sunlight.
I see my father’s hands xxx
I feel water filling my nose.
I hear children’s laugh.
I hear my heartbeats in my head.
I’m in the shopping center,
I’m shopping with my aunt.
I can’t see her and I’m standing alone in the shop [where is she?]
I’m start to cry [Where is she?]
I don’t know what I should do [Where is she?]
An old lady is coming toward me [Who is she?]
She is coming closer [Who is she?]
I see her eyes [they are different but nice]
She starts telling “don’t cry” [Her voice is soft]
She is holding my hand [Her hand is warm]
I see my aunt is crying [I stop crying]
I’m safe now.
Summer. The village. The house of my grandparents. I am five years old, wearing the white dress with blue flowers. The smell of the flowers is so strong! It’s coming from the garden. I am standing next to the stairs with my aunt and with him. He is my friend. I see he is older than me, around ten. I see his face, I recognize his eyes, his voice- like a baby.
“Will you allow her to go with me to play?”
He ask my aunt.
Where is he? Where he disappeared? I can’t see him anywhere, anymore. But I recognize his eyes.
Should I wake up?
The smell of grandmother’s voice.
I am picking flowers in the garden.
Niki is opening the top window and starts to sing a quit melody.
I feel the warm sun on my face; the flowers start to dance to the rhythm.
I forget the world around me and take a deep breath.
My grandmothers voice smells like sweet violet flowers.
There is a room.
The room is full of chairs and tables.
There are words written on the tables.
Words like: ‘you are stupid’, ‘Frau Müller sacks’ and ‘Kevin is so hot’.
There are people in the room.
They are sitting on the lonely chairs.
It is very quiet. Maybe the people are sleeping.
Are they sleeping? I don’t know.
I just came into the room.
“Sorry for my delay” I am saying.
The people are looking at me. They are not sleeping. I think so.
I walk to one of the lonely chairs.
I am sitting on one of the lonely chairs.
I want to sleep.
Instead I cry.
I’m in the center of xxxx. On an island. On a volcano.
With Alo I’m climbing and climbing, for hours and hours.
We fall asleep.
I see an old man walking.
I wonder; it’s my brother, but he is looking 40 years older.
I want to hug him but he is rejecting me.
I wake up.
I’m talking to my friend Alo.
He tells me that he had the SAME DREAM.